Welcome to our online dating, sex, love and romance relationship jokes where
we poke fun at how men and women differ, while providing facts, statistics, and trivia to stimulate your brain!
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For a quick look one page reference to all listed sites, try the
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graphic with no textual descriptions or review. Popular bookmark!
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side by side comparisons of the leading dating sites ? The Industry's 20 largest dating
service sites can be compared on our dating service
chart allowing you to quickly review the features, benefits, and other membership info of all the singles
sites with free personal ads posting.
We're completely Bannerless, SPAMLess, and POP UP Ad Free!
 What's
the big deal about condoms?
Well, when you have an old friend die due to not wearing one, it's becomes more clear. We use
humor or what ever it takes to spread the word that men or women should never have unprotected sex with
someone they just recently hooked up with.
Every brand, every size, every flavor - We sell all types of condoms for
discounted prices sent anywhere in the world. Safe, discreete and secure ordering makes it a simple
process and there should never be an excuse for not always having condoms handy.
We sincerely hope that this page will produce a few giggles, but most
importantly, will provide some info to help make you more aware of the importance of spreading the
safe sex word to your friends and family. Who knows, you could actually save a life!
Your very own condom resource guide and information center!
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to
latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem?" - Jay Leno
Quick Stat Facts
Women buy four out of every 10 condoms sold. The condom is named after Dr. Charles Condom.
Original thinking, no?
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception -
prophylactics may be dispensed
from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the
premises.
Swedes take the most risks when fooling around the nasty. 61 percent have had unsafe sex in
the last year, compared with 49 percent of Norwegians and Danes, the next door neighbors. This of
course completely destroys the cold weather/more sex theory that's been offered up.
Hmmmmm
All the following have been used to make condoms through history: Linen, tortoise shell,
leather, silk, and sheep gut. Kind of gives you an idea why they weren't very "en vogue" for long,
eh? "Sweetheart, I want you! Grab the sheep gut now!"
Condoms Are Your Friends, and are really not that bad!
Despite all the hype and the advertising claims about increased sensitivity, condoms will of
course cut the sex friction level a bit. But always remember
to put on the jacket anyway. You never know what kind of creepy thing you could catch. If the
relationship developes, you both get checked out and off they come! Gives you something to look
forward too! Kind of erotic if you go with it.
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Trustex® 3 Pak Strawberry |
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Lubricated with the Scent and Taste of fresh strawberries. With its vibrant red
color these strawber...
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| Manufacturer: American Latex Corporation |
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Ode to Condom Poems to Help Insure Protection
Feel free to rap these out, it's kind of cool
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it
8. If you think she's spunky cover your money
9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you're going into heat, package your meat
13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in oil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. NO GLOVE NO LOVE
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LifeStyles Assorted Colors 3 pk. |
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A kaleidoscope of colors and fun! Our unique stretchable latex reduces stress on
the condom, providi...
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| Manufacturer: Ansell |
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True story - lessons learned
I was a happy camper. My girlfriend
and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in
every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing
bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective
sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called
and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She
whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to
me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and
couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with
it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and
stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing
outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car."
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Trojan Pleasure Condoms 12 pack |
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Equipped with a special clear & odorless lubricant that helps control climax and prolong sexual exci
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| Manufacturer: Paradise |
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Global Condom Slang Terms
Denmark: gummimand - rubberman
Germany: lummeltute - naughty bag
Hong Kong: pei dang vi - bulletproof vest
Hungary: ovszer - safety tool
Indonesia: koteca - penis gourd
Nigeria: okpuamu - penis hat
Portugal: camisa de Venus - Venus' shirt
Australia: love glove
Greece: kapota - overcoat
Spain: globo - balloon
France: capote Anglaise - English raincoat
England/US: French letter
A man walks into a drug store with his 9-year old son. They happen to walk
by the condom display, and the boy asks: "What are these, Dad?" To which the
man matter-of-factly replies: "Those are called condoms, son. Men use
them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see.", replied the boys pensively.
"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display
and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies: "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices
a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college
men," the dad answers. "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for
Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy; "Then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for
married men. One for January, one for February, one for March, one
for.."
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra
large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?
Spice Up Your Sex Life! fun kinky
fetish toys
Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex and Condum Use
Which condom would you use....
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your
face...
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'
Bounty: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....
M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'
Chevron: use them? people do.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
MCI: for friends and family
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
Wendy Condoms: Where's the beef?
Denny's Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam
Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!
Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!
McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served
Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities
Burger King: Have it your way
Dairy Queen: We treat you right
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reviews > > more humor international
> compare dating
chart > totally free personals
Totally Free Personal Ads,
you say? You bet, oh doubtful one! Within the "partners in
love" dating networks, are a dozen totally free dating and
singles resource sites with internal personals where single
sufers can post picture profiles, search the ads, and send
unlimited messages without even having to register. Just zero
in on the picture profiles that tickle your fancy, and drop'em
a line! NO strings, NO restrictions, No catches or gimmicks.
ALL Free - ALL the time.
We only
hope in return, you'll utilize our sites for all your dating
and romance needs. We cater to single folk of all ages,
ethnicities, religions, sexual preferences, and locations. In
other words, we have sites that are exclusive to single
Christians, Seniors, Gays and Lesbians, Asians, Hispanics,
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Only quality singles related information, humor, products and
top performing dating services with millions of members and
established reputations are featured because hey, we know your
time is valuable.
Consider joining multiple Dating Services
Most of them are FREE to post your profile and
photo, and you only pay when you want to contact
someone. Have a look at what other services
they offer, such as - Voicemail, Chat Rooms,
Photo Chat and Instant Messaging etc... To make your online dating experience an enjoyable one, we suggest reading our
in depth dating tips and advice pages right below. This will also give you insight on how to better utilize the dating sites
you decide to join. |
| Online Dating
Advice Just for Women |
|
Tips for Meeting Women - Just for Men
|
 "I
want to
try online dating but I'm concerned about the possible
freaks and jerks that might try and contact me!"
Relax! A little common
sense is all you need to muster!
Safe Dating Advice for
Females |
|
 "Why
don't women ever respond to my personal ads! They don't
even reply when I write to them! What's the deal?"
All answers will be
found here, Amigo. Don't give up, we'll have ya being a
cyber-stud in no time!
Dating Tips for
Disillusioned Men |
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Free versus
Totally Free Personal Ads or Dating Sites?
Defining "FREE" Personals - I'm a firm believer in online personal ads,
and found my true love via Internet dating sites, but
remember the confusion and frustration of clicking on
sites claiming Totally Free
Personals only to find out that wasn't the case.
For the most part, the majority of sites claim Free Memberships when marketing
which can also be misconstrued as meaning that all site
features are free. To make it clear, let's define the
industry standards of the word "Free" being used.
- Free Personals -
Typically means that it's free to join, place personal
profiles, and free to search the ads. However,
different sites require various paid upgrades to use
advanced site features such as chatrooms and sending
messages.
- Free Dating Site Trial
- Usually means that singles can join the site
with no restrictions using all site functions for a
predetermined amount of time. Your profile can remain
in the database, but your downgraded to basic
memberships after the trial.
- Totally Free Personals - "Should" mean that all site features are
available to all singles with no restrictions, no
registration, (to grab that email), and no limits on
sending messages. All of our listed free
personals sites meet this definition.
|
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